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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Biggest Disappointments...

With how many movies I watch (too many), I come across a lot of independent movies that fail in every way. The worst thing that could happen is for my anticipation to be built beforehand from reading previews, or the cast list, and then finding the movie to suck completely.

Thus, we have this list of utter failures and disappointment*:

BotchedCabin FeverGiganticSkinwalkers

BOTCHED: The cast, the cover and the description all lead me to believe this was to be a fun horror movie about a botched heist. What then proceeds to happen is a group of random people run through a hotel under construction for ninety-five minutes, trying to escape a viking killer who also happens to be the hotel's security guard. Great.

CABIN FEVER: Oh boy. Years of anticipation and putting off watching a film almost always ends in colossal failure. Such is the case with Cabin Fever. I can understand paying homage to classic, or even cult classic films, but when you lose my interest is when you become a giant cliché of them. This is Evil Dead, except horrible. I didn't know it was impossible to hate every member of a cast until I saw this movie.

GIGANTIC: You tell me Zooey Deschanel & Paul Dano are in a movie, I see that movie. No questions necessary. Maybe I should ask questions next time, rather than just looking at the cast and cover and tricking myself into thinking this would be a quirky, cute indie film. Not the case. It's infuriating, Dano is a psychotic loser (what range!), Zooey is exceedingly tough to like in this role - for once - and Goodman plays a total moron. And when we reach the end of the movie, we realize that there is no ending. It's pointless, pretentious, and a waste of space on shelves and servers.

SKINWALKERS: I wrote a hate-spewing review for this film because - at the time - I was still naive enough to think that amazing cover art meant something. I quickly learned from my mistakes, but that doesn't make up for the fact that a movie starring Rhona Mitra (Well, her body at least) could disappoint. Werewolves are supposed to represent feral excitement and thrills. This movie bored me to death, and NEVER let anyone tell you otherwise.

*In case it isn't obvious, everything here is a 1/2-1 star movie.

1 comment:

  1. I have to agree with you although I didn't mind cabin fever the rest of these were just atrocious. I also thought you may want to check out the winner of my contest since you entered it.

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    http://dimmusacio.blogspot.com/2009/09/5-target-gift-card-winner.html

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